Ducks in a Row

I have spent the last year in rediscovery and had a lot of fun, but when it comes down to it there are a lot of things I am unhappy with. I'm not saying I'm depressed or anything, in fact I would argue that it's the exact opposite. I'm actually very chipper and hopeful these days, I feel like having a sense of positivity about life makes for a better existence. What I have decided is that it's time to get a few things going. I have found that I settled on a lot of aspects of my life and if I don't change them, I might get stuck in this residual rut.

Without trying to justify my lack of less than reasonable excuses, I will try to explain my shortcomings. You see at some point, you have to just keep your head above water. I spent my first two months back in Texas just trying to figure out what the heck I wanted to do with my life. I didn't know what direction I wanted to go with my career or what state or even country I wanted to be in. Big dreams of traveling the world as an English teacher and silly things like working on a cruise ship crossed my mind. I mean when you have nothing and no one to tie you down, the possibilities are endless, right!?

When my supply of money started to run out, I just had to find something to pay the bills. I had to come to the realization that my big ideas and future goals might have to sit on the back burner for a bit. After all, rent wasn't going to pay itself and with my eating habits, Ramen noodles every night wasn't going to cut it.

So while I have found a way to make ends meet, my real intentions have never come full circle. I've done a lot of complaining and analyzing about the things I see as negatives. My lack of a fulfilling career and the string of less than stellar "dating material" men top my list. But, these are things that can be fixed...with a little hard work and determination.

Anyways, my point is that last week, I started my mission of getting my life back on track. I got some advice from a wise friend who told me something completely uncomplicated but undoubtedly mind-opening: I am in control. I can be the change I want to see, I just have to take the steps to get there.

So even if I don't quite have all my ducks in a row right now, I'm working on them one at a time.

Quote of the day:“Sometimes you just have to take the leap, and build your wings on the way down. ”