Solitude

I've never been one of those girls who has to take a friend along to the mall to go shopping. I have no problem eating alone in public places, and I even took myself out to a movie once. I probably sound like a pathetic, introverted loner.

I think of it more as independent. I suppose that it was after I learned my huge life lesson about emotional dependence on others that I found an inner peace with being alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm a very social person . I'm not talking about being alone in life, I think it's important to have good, solid relationships...I just also think It's important to have a relationship with yourself.

The truth is that lately, or rather for the past several months, I have been surrounded by people and the hustle and bustle of the Uptown city life. I feel like I have to fit everything in so I don't miss anything and to be honest, it's a little wearing. I do enjoy it and love and cherish my friends dearly, but after awhile, the monotony of the "same old, same old" every single weekend can drive you to social exhaustion.

So recently, I have practiced using my "saying no" card and have passed up going out for some me, myself, and I time. There was a period in my life where I just took the time to read books, sit on park benches, and take 30 minute subway rides to a random place I found on a map. Cheesy? Maybe, but it was during that time that in solitude I found a strength in myself I didn't know I had. I didn't worry about why some guy was doing this or not doing that. I didn't worry about what I was going to do this weekend. I didn't worry about what I was going to wear to the next upcoming event.

I miss that.

With that said, my goal of the month is to put more balance in my life. Stop having fun and going out? Of course not, but I will be more conscious of devoting some more time to reflection and self improvement and less time worrying about...well, things that don't really matter.

Quote of the Day: "Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”